You see there’s this gap. Between who I am and who I want to be. The holidays are a weird time because while every year I feel like “Wow, Fernanda. You’ve grown so much. Last year you were dumb but this year you were not as dumb. You’re on the up and up.” One of the areas where I haven’t changed much is in my fitness/shape level and curbing my emotional eating. I’ve never been one to gain weight super fast but you know it slowly creeps up and Christmas time feels to be a bookmark of weight and time. This bookmark has been stuck in the same spot for way too long. It’s time to make a change.
I wanted to kick off the new year by doing Whole30 as a way to challenge myself mentally, spiritually and physically. I’m trying to remember and keep future me in mind during all this. Twelve months from now during the holiday season of 2020, I want Future Fernanda™ to be like “Oh hey! I’m finally in shape and I got this whole healthy lifestyle thing on lock and I lost the weight I gained from all those years of not knowing how to properly manage my anxiety, stress, and emotional eating.”
Why I’m Doing Whole30:
- I need structure. Without it, I can’t function. I like that Whole30 is sustainable and has you eating whole healthy foods and not a bunch of sugar free processed crap.
- I’m curious to see if changing up my diet will help regulate my hormones and moods. I tend to swing to extremes sometimes (sad/happy, up/down) and it makes me feel frustrated. Though it doesn’t happen as often, it would be nice to minimize my mood roller coaster more. I also hope it alleviates my very painful menstrual cramps naturally because I am currently reliant on poppin’ that Ibuprofen in order to function at work when Lady Flow is in town.
- Like I mentioned earlier, I want to challenge myself. I want to strengthen my mental willpower, sever the physical dependence I have on sugar, and become a more empowered human being overall.
- I’m a lush. I’m not proud to admit this but I definitely have been guilty of resorting to alcohol when I’m anxious and stressed. After work on a Thursday or Friday, it’s so easy to get a bottle of wine. Or on the weekends indulge in trying drinks at a new restaurant or craft cocktails for me and Ben at home. While I’ve cut my drinking a lot compared to 2016/2017, this year I would like to sever the connection I have with it when it comes to using it for “numbing out” and soothing my ever ticking anxiety. Sorry alcohol, I love you (too much) but we need a break. I need to learn to sit with my feelings or find healthier ways to self soothe such as meditation, yoga, or just being present with myself and the moment.
2019 was a great year for establishing the habit of working out more. I’ll keep at it because that has been A++ for my mental health. I’m really excited about doing Whole30 too because it feels like it’s the first time I’m not just barfing out the phrase, “I want to get skinny!” I don’t care so much about being skinny anymore as much as I care about being a healthy caring and loving human being because I take care of my mind, body, and spirit.
I will be sharing my Whole30 meals as much as possible over on @stayfreshfer if you’d like to follow along.